If you have a valid reason to believe that a child you know is being sexually abused, dial 1-800-4ACHILD or 1-800-WEPREVENT and report the possibility. (1-800-WEPREVENT is the National Crime Prevention Hotline. They can provide a wealth of information as it relates to child abuse and sexual abuse of children.)

If you wish to file a complaint, you must provide specifics which can be checked otherwise your complaint will be filed and then ignored unless there are repeated complaints filed on behalf of the child you name. If you make malicious, unfounded accusations, not only will you be sued in a civil court (and deserve it) but you will also be tried in criminal court.

Detecting sexual abuse is difficult unless you are an eye-witness or are professionally trained to detect child abuse. You should educate yourself about how to detect signs of child abuse from a reliable, trained organization -- such as 1-800-4ACHILD -- yet there are obvious signs to look out for.

If you suspect child abuse or sexual abuse of a child, call 1-800-4ACHILD and ask about how to detect warning signs and be sure you have a valid reason for concern before you file a report! I can not stress that enough. False reports actually make the epidemic of child abuse worse.

Here are my UNPROFESSIONAL SUGGESTIONS on how to detect signs of sexual abuse in children:

• A spot of what appears to be blood seeping through a child's clothing below the waist.

• An inability to sit comfortably.

• Rubbing or massaging of one's genital area.

• Frequent requests to use the bathroom facilities.

• The child creates drawings depecting sexual themes. This is not a good or accurate indication since television and video tapes containing explicit sexual themes are common in the home. Children also observe their parents engaging in sexual behavior and are naturally curious. Ask the child what the picture is about and find out if the child has included himself or herself in the drawing.

• Unless you are an official medical employee of an authority, do not examine the child, even if the child is obviously bleeding. Doing so can and will itself be considered child abuse. Let the professionals examine the child and stop the bleeding.

  If you just can't resist examining the child (perhaps because there is an obviously great amount of bleeding) have witnesses observe your examination so that there is no possibility you will be held accountable. If there is no sign of an immediate health risk involved, no examination is needed. Let the authorities do their jobs.

• Never telephone Child Protective Services. CPS has become a badly corrupt beuracacy which unfortunatly treats all reports of suspicion as though they are verified. They have destroyed countless innocent families. Call 1-800-4ACHILD, 1-800-WE-PREVENT, or a children's shelter in your area and ask for assistance and information.

• Never repeatedly question or browbeat a child. Simply asking the child if they've been hurt should be enough. (Christian clergy like to make their victims believe they'll be punished if they talk about being abused so avoid direct questions.) If at all possible, inform the child's parents of your suspicions and let them handle it. State clearly your reasons for concern, state what you saw, and stress what you did not see.

• If the suspect is a member of the Christian clergy, never report the suspected or witnessed abuse to their superiors! They are not the proper authority. Once you give up on the clergy and eventually contact the police or other children's welfare organization, you will be asked why you took so long to report the abuse. In delaying your offical report, you can be charged with complicity! You also provide the Christian's church with time to hide their pedophile!

By far, most ministers are clean-living, upstanding citizens. Yet, sexual abuse by members of the clergy is a common, but seldom reported problem. Shame, guilt, and fear often keeps victims from reporting abuse by someone they trusted. When children are sexually abused it is a crime resulting in stiff penalties.

In recent months, some victims of clergy abuse have found relief through monetary reward. Although financial compensation never heals the deep wounds or erases the harm done, it is just recompense.

As a public service, Walk Away is seeking victims of sexual abuse committed by pastors who have violated the trust of youngsters. Respondents are referred to attorneys specializing in clergy abuse. There is no charge for the service.

Currently, our representative list of attorneys include the following states: Arizona, California, District of Columbia, Illinois, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, New Mexico, Virginia, Washington, and Wisconsin.

If you feel you are a victim of clergy sexual abuse which occurred in one of these states, and you are thinking about the possibility of taking legal action, please respond through this website. Share as much information as possible, and with which you are comfortable. Every response will be treated with the strictest confidentiality.

If our counselors feel you have a valid case, we may contact you for more information, or may simply refer you to an attorney in your state.

Contact Walk Away
Post Office Box 589
Great Barrington, Massachusetts.
Zip Code: 01230
Telephone: (413) 528-3800
E-Mail: ifas@crocker.com
Web page: http://www.crocker.com/~ifas

What happens to individuals who have been psychologically abused and morally betrayed by fundamentalist cultic religious groups? How can they recover from the damage done? Physically leaving such a group is relatively easy, but the emotional and psychological departure can take months or even years. This is why many people do not understand how any person can stay within a situation of religious abuse - much the same way that people fail to see how battered women stay with their abusers.

Such dysfunctional and destructive groups often use manipulation, fear, and deception to maintain a hold on members. They also shower their prey with unbelievable amounts of affection and approval for staying in the group and meeting their expectations ("love-bombing"). Groups also control and distort information from the outside. Thus it becomes a sin to read any "worldly" publications or "spiritual pornography." The group makes an extremely sharp distinction between right and wrong, good and evil; everything in the group is positive (godly), everything outside is negative (satanic). Ambiguity, doubts, and serious questions are not tolerated. The authority of the group's leadership is virtually absolute. All problems are oversimplified and deflected either away from the group or back towards the individual (this is a methodology that I have come to call conflict isolation).

It is no wonder, therefore, that the religiously abused frequently suffer from emotional and psychological problems. I believe that it is high time that our society recognizes and deals with religious abuse as a social-psychological disorder in itself.

Generally, a person who breaks involvement with a dysfunctional group will encounter the following problems:

Depression - the product of group-induced self-doubt and self-blame.

Isolation and loneliness - the shock of crossing the barrier from one social environment to another.

Impairment of decision-making and other intellectual skills.

Floating - occasional lapses into the group's imposed mindset, often triggered by certain stimuli (music, symbols, key words or phrases, etc.).

Difficulty in talking about group involvement - often related to strong feelings of guilt, fear, and bitterness.

Interpersonal difficulties - communication, expression, making new friends, organized activities, dating, emotional and physical intimacy, etc. Recent walk aways are frequently mistrustful and suspicious of other people and groups.

So, how does one recover? How does a person heal the wounds of religious abuse? Hopefully, within a caring and understanding new social setting. This can be a family, a support or therapy group, or an organized community such as a mainstream church, religious group, or humanist society. It should also be done with patience and the consideration that recovery will take time and effort. The following are some ideas for persons who have walked away from religious abuse and who are on the road to reclaiming their lives.

Work towards trusting yourself and relying on your own abilities.

Put your experience down in writing. This will help you to evaluate, understand, and cope with your past involvement in the abusive group.

Get in touch with other people who have gone through similar experiences, either one-on-one or in a support group.

Find a hobby or pastime to reinforce a positive sense of accomplishment.

When floating occurs, firmly remind yourself that the episode was triggered by some stimulus. Remember also that it will pass. Identify the trigger, learn to make a new association, and repeat the new association until it overrides the old one. Talking it over with someone who undersands can really help, too.

Handle decisions, tasks, and relearning of interpersonal skills one step at a time. Don't rush yourself, talk and think things over, and don't be afraid if you make mistakes - we all do!

Be more willing to help people as you go along. This builds up self-esteem and exercises your problem-solving skills.

Take a breather from organized religion for about three to nine months, at least. Deal with your questions about religion, ethics, and philosophy in an honest and challenging manner.

Remember, you are no longer a victim but a survivor!