How to fight Motorcycles


I. Forward by Fredric Rice, Chairman, Skeptic Tank
II. Forward by the anonymous author

III. General Notes

1. Spike Board

2. THE "H to A" CAPER














IIII. Afterward by Fredric L. Rice


I. Forward by Fredric Rice, Chairman, Skeptic Tank


What follows is profoundly stupid and describes potentially fatal activities that would indiscriminately target children, adults, and other innocent people as well as their intended target: dirt bike riders. It's not the dumbest thing I've seen written, nor is it the most inherently criminal written series of ideologies I've seen posted to the Internet but it ranks right up there with the best -- or, more accurately, the worst -- of them.

Why would The Skeptic Tank want to reproduce this text? Why did I reformat and correct what appears to be a scanned-in text document and then make it available on the Internet? In priority of motivation, here's why:

To address the anti-Earth First! motivation, there is not a single shred of verifiable evidence which would remotely suggest that what is reproduced here was ever written by anyone within the Earth First! organization, nor that it was written by the so-called Unambomer, nor that the Unabomber was a member of Earth First! The first rule of an "eco-warrior" -- Rule #1 -- is never to physically harm anyone or engage in activities which have the potential of physical harm. (See Edward Abbey's book "Hayduke Lives!" for a fictionalized yet accurate summation of the so-called "Code of the Eco-Warrior.") In all the history of Earth First!, the organization has never hurt anybody -- except through their bank accounts.

The notion that the Unabomber was some how a member of or part of Earth First! has been exposed as a hoax; a deliberate lie. A Google Search turns up numerous web pages that debunk the lie, among the most informative being http://www.fair.org/extra/9606/unabomb.html which covers the whole hoax / deliberate deception. The dishonest liars at Off-Road.COM don't care about the truth, it would seem.

Earth First! activists have engaged in numerous non-violent criminal actions over the decades of its history which are well documented enough without needing to attribute to them bizarre texts and violent ideologies they don't hold merely to defame the organization. Earth First! continues to practice their advocacy of non-violence and the text maliciously being attributed to them violates utterly the organization's Number 1 inviolate rule: Harm no human.

Greenpeace, Sea Shepherd and other largely successful organizations also acquire long lists of unevidenced allegations levied against them by various criminal corporations and environmentally-destructive groups and individuals who have had their abuses curtailed by the good guys and can only fight back by lying about their victorious foes.

When the bad guys have to lie about those who oppose their abuses, you know the good guys are winning. Trying to manufacture fictitious links between Earth First! and the Unabomber, and trying to attribute violent ideals to Earth First! merely means that Earth First! -- the good guys -- are winning and that the planet rapers are casting about in desperation.

For factual, accurate, verifiable information about Earth First!, access the Internet web sites:


and review what the organizations stand for direct from their own mouths. E-mail Earth First! yourself and ask them questions. They won't deny that their organization engages in "direct action" and civil disobedience. They won't deny that members of their organization organize defense actions against planet rapers. At the same time you'll note that Earth First! remains committed to a policy of total non-violence, employing the "technology" and the tactic of non-violent passive resistance.

Do a little homework and you'll find that this "how-to manual" that follows violates everything that Earth First! stands for.

If you want to see how environmentalists actually stop abusive wheeled vehicle use on public property, check out "Eco-Defense Version Three" at:


Anyone who wants to claim this idiotic instruction manual was written by Earth First! may E-mail me with their evidence and I will gladly research their citations and update this web page with the verified information provided. For now, however, here is the uncensored but repaired, fixed, and corrected text of "How to fight Motorcycles" by an anonymous, certainly homicidal kook.

If you don't like the fact that this web page exists, please feel free to E-mail me your complaints as I would appreciate feedback. If you're stupid enough to actually do any of these crimes, also let me know so I can alert your local FBI Field Office. Thanks.

II. Forward by the anonymous author

This little book assumes that the United States has been invaded by enemy soldiers on motorcycles and that we have to fight and harass them by guerrilla tactics. These dirty tricks are not to be used against civilian riders because most of these defenses would be illegal under those circumstances.

Besides, bikers are all nice guys who wouldn't think of trespassing on private property, knocking down fences or "Keep Out" signs, gouging deep trails in yards by "peeling out" and accelerating fast, roaring past a chicken yard just to scare the chickens, deliberately running over cats, dogs, chickens, and/or other small domestic live stock for "sport," answering conservation protests with a "V for Victory" sign, (one finger at a time) as they speed away leaving their beer cans and other casual trash lying around their still-smoldering camp fires in high fire hazard areas.



These suggestions involve the application of material that is usually considered "throw away junk" that can be used in a booby trap and left alone to do its job at no expense to the home defender except a little physical exertion. So what if it has to stay hidden for a year or more before it gets a chance to do it's bit for America? It is willing. These ideas are by no means a complete list. They are just the tip of the iceberg and hopefully will suggest other efficient uses of any material that comes to hand.

The best place to plant these little goodies is in a known dirt bike track as bikers have a tendency to follow where others have gone before because they assume it is safe. Where a track passes between two trees or bushes that are close together makes a good location because it reduces the avenue within which bikers must travel, just as in the middle of a dry lake would be the worst place because there is so much other areas where the enemy soldier might drive -- unless, of course, there is a fence across it with a gate featuring a "KEEP OUT" sign that makes an irresistible attraction.

spkbd1 1. SPIKE BOARD

A spike board is one of the simplest and most effective tricks to discourage motorcyclists. It consists of an old board one or two inches thick usually one or two feet long, and from four to twelve inches wide with nails driven through from one side so the heads are flush. These nails must be long enough and heavy enough to hold up under the impact of a tire, otherwise they will bond instead of puncture.

Nails in sizes known as #12, #16 or #20 are ideal for this purpose because they are long enough that when the board is buried an inch or so deep to hide it, it's still sticking up far enough to go through a tire tread. If you are lucky, BOTH front and back tires will be punctured. Heavy plywood works well too: 3/4 inch thick or heavier. Filing the points of the nails makes for a slightly more efficient defense but is not strictly needed.

ha1 2. THE "H TO A" CAPER

Where a track passes between two bushes is a good location for this. It consists of two fairly straight sections of tree limb, or two pieces of 2x4's lumber about four feet long. The limbs are best because they blend in better, but especially if the bushes are thick, the 2x4's will do the job.

These limbs are placed one on each side of the track about four feet apart. The lower end is placed loosely in a six inch deep hole to keep it in place, and the upper end is laid against the bush, pointing slightly uptrail.

Between the two limbs is tied a piece of rope or heavy wire about a foot from the top end. This forms the "H."

When a moving bike hits this rope it pulls the ends of the limbs towards each other and jambs them against either the machine or the rider. This will do neither of them any good, especially if the bike is moving at any speed, and if the ends of the limbs have a tendency to be jagged. This forms the "A."

This caper will work almost as well with just one limb, and the other end of the rope tied to something solid like a tree or the base of a bush, or around a rock. It will shove the bike to one side instead of squeezing it.


A trick that probably dates back to cave man days but is still used because it is effective is the camouflaged pit dug across a trail.

A pit six feet deep with "punji" sticks in the bottom would work fine, but that's too much work. A hole about 18 inches deep, covered with easily collapsible cover -- such as twigs and leaves -- will (when run over by an enemy soldier on a motorcycle) flip said cycle briskly, hopefully breaking something, preferably bones.

Two feet long by a foot wide is about the minimum size needed for a motorcycle sized wheel to drop into. Just be sure to remove and scatter any excess dirt not needed to disguise the cover so the soldier will not be alerted.

A cover can be made of anything that will support a thin layer of dirt and / or leaves -- even a piece of cardboard, a sheet of tin, or an old rusty window screen if the screen is not too rusty. This can be supported by a few sticks laid across the hole, or even a small bush jammed into the pit.

Since the dirt is supposed to hide the trap try to blend it in with the surrounding area. If this is placed in a previous track, it's a good idea to brush the newly spread earth with a small branch. You might try to draw a suggestion of tire tracks across it with a twig. Scatter a few leaves and twigs. Try to see how artistic a job of camouflage you can do.

landmine 4. TO BLOW A TIRE

A 12 gauge shotgun shell makes a handy little device by which you can blow a large hole in an enemy soldier's front tire. Combined with a couple of pieces of ordinary water pipe wrapped in a plastic bag (such as used in markets to carry home vegetables and fruit) it will lie quietly waiting to do its job for a long time; a number of year's even, ready, willing, and deadly.

As the illustration shows, all that is needed to fire this crude shotgun is to hit down on the middle pipe so that the primer is impacted against the firing pin. This causes the shell to explode with the resulting damage to a motorcycle tire in the "severe" range. Even if the thin sheet of plastic over the mouth of the device is torn away and dirt clogs the "barrel," it is still effective -- maybe more so because then it will act like a "land mine" in miniature.

Take care in handling this device. Remember that if it is dropped and hits in an upright position (that is with the firing pin section down) it will go off.

In planting it in the ground be very careful not to hit the protruding pipe with a shovel. Same deal: it will fire and we don't want any home defenders hurt, just the enemy.



A twelve gauge shotgun cartridge is the only size that will easily fit a common water pipe size without machining (that is a 3/4 inch water pipe.) The .800 inch outside diameter of the shell will go into the .824 inch inside diameter pipe with .024 inch to spare (theoretically).

It is a snug fit and you probably will have to clean up burrs and blobs of galvanizing, but it will work. The only other "possible" is to put a 28 gauge shell into a 1/2 inch pipe. The shell is .615 inches in diameter and the pipe is supposed to be .622 inches but allowing for manufacturing tolerances, it may or may not work without considerable cleanup.

If you have access to a lathe you can chuck up a 1 inch diameter rod of steel (cold rolled or equivalent) 3-1/2 to 4 inches long, and bore out as follows:

For a 12 gage bore, 13/16 inch (.8125)
For a 16 gage bore, ??/?? inch (.750)
For a 20 gage bore, 23/32 inch (.718)
For a 28 gage bore, 5/8 inch (.625)

It might also be interesting to try one of these bored out pieces by not boring all the way through, but just enough to take the cartridge. The whole thing should move like a ROCKET.


Leave a full gallon gasoline can in a cabin or outbuilding where it can be stolen but be sure to spike it with a couple of cups of sugar first. Shake well to help dissolve the sugar into the gas.

Sugar -- upon being burned in a combustion engine -- turns into an abrasive almost as hard as a diamond (caramelizes piston sleeves.) This scores the pistons and engine block -- usually beyond saving.

Don't put in too much sugar because this will merely gum up the carburetor and stop the engine before the pistons can be damaged, and we don't want that to happen.

A related trick similar in intent is to open a can of motor oil, pour out some of the oil (about one cupful) and then put a handful of abrasive into what's left.

Carefully wipe away any abrasive spilled on the outside. Plug the hole with rolled-up paper and shake well to mix the grit into the oil. This will give the impression that you opened a can to get enough oil to fill a squirt can or top off a machine and are saving the rest.

Even though most of the abrasive will settle out if left long enough there will always be enough in suspension to cause the thief considerable grief. The more attractive you make your tainted oil and the more easily you make the oil stolen, the more likely it will be used by a biker to punish himself.

Good quality abrasive used for grinding valves or rocks can be obtained from a lapidary rock shop where it is sold for polishing rocks by tumbling them in a drum. 400 grit or 600 grit (or finer) is best because it stays in suspension longer.


There are excellent uses for fish hooks -- preferably old hooks: used, rusty ones with decayed fish still clinging to them. Any kind or size of fish hook is good but the best are the three pronged ones. They hook from any side but even single hooks will do.

The simplest trick is to tie the hooks firmly to the tips of bushes beside the bike trail so that as the enemy soldier rides by he brushes against them and is hooked; some times just by his uniform or better yet by the skin.

A method that may produce better results is a "trot-line" effect with the line strung from one bush, or tree, to another across the trail.

To those of you who haven't had the advantages of a mid-West fishing boyhood a "trot-line" is a main line hung between two points with a number of short lines tied to it at intervals with hooks on the ends of the short lines.

The advantage is that if the soldier does ride through he is sure to be hooked. The disadvantage is that he might notice it and ride around to avoid it.

That last sentence suggests another trick: Pick the most obvious path by which to go around and booby-trap it with a buried trap.

A way to get almost the same effect is to lash a number of hooks to bushes beside the trail then tie a plain line across the trail, anchored at each end to the branches with the hooks so that when he rides through, the line pulls the two branches against him, thus assuring a "strike." OUCH!


With so many television sets in use it is not hard to find a burned-out picture tube. THIS MAKES AN EXCELLENT BOOBY-TRAP.

Bury one in a bike trail just deep enough to put about an inch of dirt on top and scatter the rest of the dirt. The tube is buried "face up." In other words the surface that you look at is facing up. Pack dirt around the tube to give it firm support.

When a motorcycle tire impacts against this it will, of course, shatter. Since it is a vacuum tube the implosion will send glass shards flying like a bomb. This is one thing television repair men have to watch out for, and why they are so careful in handling these tubes.

It makes a picture for the home defender to smilingly contemplate: an enemy soldier driving over one of these, his front wheel suddenly dropping down a foot at the same time daggers of glass come flying around. GREAT!!!

An empty five gallon water bottle (like Sparkletts) works just about as well.


Within the construction trade there is used what's known as "pencil rod," a steel rod about the diameter of an ordinary pencil. This size lends itself to an interesting -- and devilish -- device known as a "wheel grabber." (How do I know it's known as that? I just named it.)

Take a piece of this pencil rod about two and a half feet long, bend six inches of the ends at a right angle (90 degrees), both pointing the same way. Dig a hole across a bike trail a foot deep, a foot wide and a couple of feet long. Place across this pit one of the wheel grabbers with the bent ends up.

Make sure the ends will stay up by some simple way like twigs pushed into the ground next to them, or a convenient rock.

Place a cover over the hole (like cardboard) and cover lightly with dirt.

When a biker rides over this, the rod will be bent so that the ends will be forced into the spokes. It is hard to have a wheel turn after it has had a steel rod jammed into it, carried up and wedged up under the frame and / or fender.

tip 10. TIP BOARDS

This is a variation of the Spike Board and can cause much more serious damage, either to the enemy soldier or to the motorcycle, or both.

In effect a "Tip Board" is a Spike Board with one end extending over a pit so that when a cycle drives over it the board is "tipped" so that one end is in the pit, solidly lodged against one side while the other end is raised up against either the cycle, or the soldier, or both.

The amount and kind of damage this can do depends on how carefully designed the set-up is, where, how big, and what kind of spikes are driven into the board. The least it can do is to flip the bike. How hard, of course, depends on how fast the machine was traveling at the moment of impact.

Any place you expect a fall you can hide sharpened spikes to add to the fun and festivities. The spikes in the part that raises up should be driven into the end a couple of inches to hold them solidly, then the head of the spike sawed off and the "stub" filed to a sharp point. This way it can stab a nice hole in either the biker or the crankcase of the motorcycle.

It is difficult to retain oil in a crankcase that has been punctured, just as a leg could leak a bit with a deep hole torn into it.

flip 11. FLIP WIRE

A heavy mire or cable stretched at an angle across the trail will suddenly change the direction of travel of the front end of a cycle, the resulting action being "...ears over teakettle", with, hopefully, broken parts.

If the terrain and vegetation allows, the easiest way is to tie the wire at ground level around a heavy bush or small tree, lead it across the trail at about a 45 degree angle to shoulder-high in another tree.

It should be designed so that the wire will be hit slightly above the axle area of the front wheel. If it hits too low, the cycle might climb over it and you wouldn't get quite the interesting results you expect.

If there is no tree or heavy bush conveniently placed for the ground level tie you can use what is known in the construction trade as a "dead man." This is merely a board (or a section of tree limb or a cement block, etc.) buried in the ground a foot or two and placed at right angles to the "line of pull" so you can anchor to it.

The "direction of throw" is determined by which side of the trail the ground level tie is placed, so, naturally, if the trail leads along the edge of a cliff or gully you place the low end next to the drop-off. This compounds the fun.


This is still another variation of the Spike Board, using a heavy (1.5 inch or 2 inch wide) power hack saw such as is used in machine shops. Even though the blade is too dulled to cut metal it will work fine on rubber.

Mount it on a board as shown in the illustrations. They are particularly effective when planted at the bottom of a hill. Just make sure the cutting edge of the teeth point "uphill." Under the kind of acceleration needed to push a motorcycle and rider up a steep hill this would saw through a tire completely around the circumference, leaving the tire in two halves.

This makes it rather difficult to patch.

These old saw blades can be gotten from most any machine shop. If there aren't any in-the scrap barrel, ask the manager to save you some.


Wires stung "neck high" to a bike rider can be fatal to an enemy soldier. A broken neck will seriously hamper a soldiers activities.

Ideal wire to use is very thin "piano wire" lightly daubed with a dark brown or black paint to kill the shine. Since this wire has a tensile strength of something like 100,000 pounds per square inch, it can be stretched between two trees very tightly.

Any wire will do the job, even rusty barbed wire. Barbed wire has the advantage of gouging deep scratches even if it misses the neck area and only pulls across the chest and arms. This smarts, especially if the rider is thrown and gets dirt in the wounds.

A variation is a loop hung down from a tree limb. This will act as a noose and as it tightens around the riders neck it will pull him off the cycle. He will probably have some difficulty in breathing.


This is a variation of the Tip Board which is a variation of the Spike Board which is... Oh, well, here it is.

If you can find a sheet of tin not over a couple of feet wide and five or six feet long, you have all the material you need for this trick. An old piece of corrugated roofing will work just fine.

Dig a pit across a bike path just as wide as your sheet of tin, and about two and a half or three feet long and about a foot and a half deep.

Carefully place the tin across this until it is centered (with the long way pointing along the path.)

Cover the tin with the dirt dug out of the pit to make sure it is hidden. When an enemy soldier drives his bike onto this it will suddenly sag in the middle and the ends will rise up into position to gouge the riders ankles and/or slash the back tire, possibly flipping bike and rider in the process. A CHEERFUL THOUGHT.


Let's not overlook the simpler forms of spikes like a big washer with a bolt fastened through it and the tip of the bolt sharpened either by grinding or filing. This will look like an oversize roofing nail.

Incidentally roofing nails are not very effective on dirt: they require solid backing like pavement, so don't waste much time on them; although they are better than nothing.

If you have a supply of roofing nails and want to use them for this purpose, the simplest way is to drive them through a small piece of tin and lay the tin on the trail. This keeps the nail pointing up and if it is one of the longer type -- like 1.5 or 2 inch -- it will puncture a tire.

A section of steel rod sharpened and planted in a trail with an inch or so of the sharpened end up works great. Why limit to steel? Even brass or aluminum works. A piece of pipe with the end sharpened by sawing off at a sharp angle is very usable. It resembles (and acts like) a heavy chisel or gouge. A couple of inches sticking up in the middle of a trail will really do the Job.

What common items have I missed???


IIII. Afterward by Fredric L. Rice

Just about everything the author suggests can kill or maim, and the only suggestion I found that could be remotely supportable is section number 6, the one titled "GASOLINE GRIEF." The only suggestion I found faintly amusing was section number 8, the one titled "T.V. PICTURE TUBE TRICK" which simply wouldn't work as suggested.

What you just read was almost certainly written by a High School student who has experience working in a machine shop or working with construction tools. There's no environmental rhetoric and no appeals of stopping motorcycle riders for any ecology reasons.

The motivations for the author to write the above will almost certainly remain forever unknown but a good guess would be jealousy; the author wanted a dirt bike and, since he'll never get one, wants to have others kill or maim people who do have them. The author himself is an ineffective coward who would never engage in such criminal acts himself.


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