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Delivered by Brother I/O at the December PULSAR meeting. THE SERMON ON THE MONITOR Dearly C-loved, we are basically assembled here today because PCing is believing. We're here to console you; ASCII and ye shall receive. We say there is a life worth debugging! Data, data everywhere, but not a thought to think, that is the problem...Dear friends, perhaps you've interfaced with someone out there with a terminal illness, some poor hacker with bloodshot eyes in data distress who's been attacked by the evil one, Glitch, and his wicked helper, Crosslink; someone whose FAT is truly in the fire. Even if your data has been blown all to HAL and it's your cluster's last stand, there's not a thing we can do to bring it back. But, we can solace you in your hour of need. And that is why the Giver Of Data has downloaded to me, from his heavenly host mainframe, at 9,600 baud error-free, the Keyboard Prayer for the data distressed. Now let us make the sign of the monitor, (trace a square with your finger in the air) bow our heads, and pray in parallel. THE KEYBOARD PRAYER Our program who art in memory, HELLO be thy name. Thy keyboard hum, Thy work be done, On disk as it is in memory. Give us our data In key-field order And forgive us our I/O errors, As we forgive those with faulty logic circuits, And lead us not into frustration, But deliver us from power surges. For thine is the algorithm, the application and the solution, looping forever and ever. Return! Author Unknown downloaded from CompuChurch (tm) International Headquarters (504) 927-4509 All Rights Reversed

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