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Top Ten uses for a bible: 10. Paper weight 9. Kindling for the fireplace. 8. Book end. 7. Centerpiece of your pagan ritual pentagram (covered with goat skin and virgin blood) 6. Recycle!! (there a lot of waste paper in there) 5. Hold a bible throwing contest! 4. Amaze your friends!! Throw your voice!!! Using the holy spirit. 3. See how good of a paper airplane you can make out of that ultra-thin bible page paper. 2. Stand on a corner handing out bibles until someone spits in your face, beats you up, and calls you a fundie. And the number one use for a bible: 1. Use it to trick yourself into believing that you actually have a life, that there is a god, and that when you die you are going to heaven to spend the rest of eternity in bliss, singing the praises of God.

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