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Msg # 454 Date: 19 Jul 91 22:35:00 From: Jim Mooney To: All Subj: bible - last page ____________________________________________________________________________ I have received a number of queries about my mention that the last page of the Bible - which states that it was all a joke - is routinely torn out at the bible factory. Here is a copy of the full text, which I happen to possess, having done some janitorial work at a local bible complex. TO: Whom it May Concern FROM: God SUBJ: Bible The preceding was, of course, all a joke. No sane or rational person is expected to live by the incoherent principles embodied herein. Do not try them at home (or anywhere else, for that matter). They are expressly for the use of professional Masochists and Fools. The only advice I can give is -- Eat, Drink, and Be Merry, For Tomorrow You Shall Die. Oh, and stop whining. I have no control over these things. This silly Omnipotence business was started by Priests seeking to empty Your pockets by promising My favors. You don't think I Planned on reality being this screwed up, did you? Things just got out of hand. I mean, Dogs weren't supposed to shit in the house; everyone was supposed to get laid at least twice a week after Puberty; and I Never, Ever planned on Republicans. Well, I've got to go now. Be back in about four billion years. Try to straighten thing out by then, will you? We'll have a good sit-down and you can tell me all about it. I'll bring the Beer. Yours Truly, и и иииии GOD иииии и и и и The One and Only --- via Silver Xpress V2.28 [NR] * Origin: Default origin line (1:112/2020) SEEN-BY: 102/901 103/903 109/120 112/7 28 2020 114/15 18 29 74 143/801 SEEN-BY: 151/606 152/20 374/14 3610/98 PATH: 112/2020 28 114/15 374/14

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