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**** The Banter Sketch **** **** From Monty Python's Flying Circus **** **** Transcribed 1/1/88 by Jonathan Partington ( JRP1@PHX.CAM.AC.UK ) **** (Scene: a wartime RAF station) Jones: Morning, Squadron Leader. Idle: What-ho, Squiffy. Jones: How was it? Idle: Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie. Jones: Er, I'm afraid I don't quite follow you, Squadron Leader. Idle: It's perfectly ordinary banter, Squiffy. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie. Jones: No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower. Idle: Banter's not the same if you say it slower, Squiffy. Jones: Hold on then -- Wingco! -- just bend an ear to the Squadron Leader's banter for a sec, would you? Chapman: Can do. Jones: Jolly good. Fire away. Idle: Bally Jerry... (he goes through it all again) Chapman: No, I don't understand that banter at all. Idle: Something up with my banter, chaps? GRAMS: AIR RAID SIRENS (Enter Palin, out of breath) Palin: Bunch of monkeys on the ceiling, sir! Grab your egg-and-fours and let's get the bacon delivered! Chapman (to Idle): Do *you* understand that? Idle: No -- I didn't get a word of it. Chapman: Sorry, old man, we don't understand your banter. Palin: You know -- bally tenpenny ones dropping in the custard! (no reaction) Palin: Um -- Charlie choppers chucking a handful! Chapman: No no -- sorry. Jones: Say it slower, old chap. Palin: Slower *banter*, sir? Chapman: Ra-ther. Palin: Um -- sausage squad up the blue end? Idle: No, still don't get it. Palin: Um -- cabbage crates coming over the briny? The others: No, no. (Film of air-raid) Idle (voice-over): But by then it was too late. The first cabbage crates hit London on July the 7th. That was just the beginning. (Chapman seen sitting at desk, on telephone) Chapman: Five shillings a dozen? That's ordinary cabbages, is it? And what about the bombs?... Good Lord, they _are_ expensive. **** end of file BANTER PYTHON 1/20/88 **** **** show continues in WOOD PYTHON **** From: JRP1@PHX.CAM.AC.UK To: Clarinet@YALEVM

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