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**** The Inalienable Rights scene from "Monty Python's Life of Brian" **** **** Transcribed 5/13/86 by Dwayne A. X. E. E. ( CS107124@YUSOL ) **** (A huge Roman amphitheatre, sparsely attended. REG, FRANCIS, STAN and JUDITH are seated in the stands. They speak conspiratorially.) Judith: Any Anti-Imperialist group like ours must *reflect* such a divergence of interests within its power-base. Reg: Agreed. (General nodding.) Francis? Francis: I think Judith's point of view is valid here, Reg, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man-- Stan: Or woman. Francis: Or woman...to rid himself-- Stan: Or herself. Reg: Or herself. Agreed. Thank you, brother. Stan: Or sister. Francis: Thank you, brother. Or sister. Where was I? Reg: I thought you'd finished. Francis: Oh, did I? Right. Reg: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man ... Stan: Or woman. Reg: Why don't you shut up about women, Stan, you're putting us off. Stan: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg. Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan? Stan: (pause) I want to be one. (pregnant pause) Reg: What? Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on I want you all to call me Loretta. Reg: What!? Stan: It's my right as a man. Judith: Why do you want to be Loretta, Stan? Stan: I want to have babies. Reg: You want to have babies?!?!?! Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them. Reg: But you can't have babies. Stan: Don't you oppress me. Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan -- you haven't got a womb. Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box? (Stan starts crying.) Judith: Here! I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the *right* to have babies. Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister, sorry. Reg: (pissed) What's the *point*? Francis: What? Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies? Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression. Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality. ***** Here endeth Part Six of the Life of Brian (of Nazareth) ***** ***** Please send your comments, praise, complaints or ***** ***** copyright infringement lawsuits to ... ***** ***** Dwayne A. X. E. E. () *****

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