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247 The Illuminati University Alma Mater 11-16-90 by John M. Ford Okay, fellow Illuminates, here it is: THE ILLUMINATI UNIVERSITY THEME SONG (to the tune of the Tiny Toon Adventures theme) We deal in Illusion Hypnosis and confusion And this institution has its eye on all below A liberal college Of weird forbidden knowledge Our classes cover everything Man Wasn't Meant to Know Behold the ancient buildings where our scholars work and dwell They move when no one's looking and they all connect to Hell Through these eldritch portals We don't get many mortals And everything considered, guess it's just as well Illuminated attitudes pervade our faculty From Evil Stevie's Library to Arcane R & D Here man and cetacean Serve up an education In Space and Time Dilation And Paradoxes too Experimentation With genes and radiation Makes each graduation A triumph for the few (repeat tune of last verse) The Archdean is an angel and the Art Curator's mad And here you need a parachute to go through Drop and Add There's placement and pretest In Science Weird and Weirdest Our annual Samhainfest And Necronomicomp Take Ethics for Tyrants Or Laboratory Violence Call Military Science The Ogre's on the stomp We're deep and We're dotty At dear Illuminati The Higher Mystic Institute for one and all (Admissions down the hall.)

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