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ILLUMINATI (to the tune of "Eleanor Rigby") updated 11-07-88 Steve Jackson, Joe Vail, Creede Lambard Illuminati . . . They put a thing made of tinfoil on top of my door . . . What is it for? Illuminati . . . Shooting a ray at my cornflakes to make them turn green . . . What does it mean? The Illuminati . . . They're watching me, I know. The Illuminati . . . They're everywhere I go. Illuminati . . . Doing unspeakable things in the night to a cow . . . Where are they now? Illuminati . . . Sent an impostor in place of the Popsicle man . . . What is their plan? The Illuminati . . . They're watching me, I know. The Illuminati . . . They're everywhere I go. Illuminati . . . They cancelled Star Trek, The Fonz, and My Mother, the Car . . . Are they bizarre? You can't escape them; Even if you take a plane to Nepal or Peru . . . They'll be there, too . . . The Illuminati . . . They're watching me, I know. The Illuminati . . . They're everywhere I go. I know that they know all about me . . . They know that I know all about them . . . Illuminati . . . Hide their assassins' instructions in newspaper text . . . Who will be next? They're all around us . . . Underline every third word in the Times and you'll see . . . How can it be? The Illuminati . . . They're watching me, I know. The Illuminati . . . They're everywhere I go. They're in the attic and the cellar . . . Bigger than Hunt or Rockefeller . . . Illuminati . . . Go through my garbage and count all the pop bottles there . . . Why do they care? They're out to get me . . . They're fluoridating my water from their UFO . . . What do they know? The Illuminati . . . They're everywhere, I see. The Illuminati . . . And no one knows but me.

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