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"THE PROS AND CONS OF HITCH-HIKING (A brief explanation) <- presumably written by Waters 4:30 AM SCENE I (A suburban bedroom somewhere near London) "Shane" plays on the TV. An Englishman, struggling with a nightmare wakes his American wife. She speaks. Wife: "Wake up, you're dreaming" Man: "What?" Wife: "You're dreaming" The man mumbles disjointedly about his dream. His wife soothes him back to sleep. 4:31 AM SCENE II The man returns to his dream. He and his wife are driving through continental Europe. There is a vague feeling of threat. The European psyche still shrinks from memories of The Jackboot. Borders are dangerous places. The law is a fickle friend. They pick up two hitch-hikers, a beautiful girl and a hooded terrorist... Lust conquers fear, the man courts the girl. His sensible family sedan metamorphosis into a mettalic green Lamborghini. The girl is impressed. They go for a drive. He is about to seduce her when... Fear conquers lust. 4:37 AM SCENE III Paralysed by fear, he is whisked back to suburbia and attacked in his own home by a gang of Arab Terrorists. He rages in his impotence. 4:38 AM SCENE IV (A small Hotel overlooking the Rhine) The man and the girl eat dinner. He takes her upstairs and orders breakfast. He locks the door. He reaches out for her... 4:40 AM SCENE V Reaching out in his dream he wakes his wife again. She is not a pleased woman. He is horny. She rejects him and goes back to sleep. He lies in bed, brittle and angry. "Bloody toast crumbs" He silently rants. "Hey girl, take out the dagger and let's have a stab at the sexual revolution." He falls asleep again and dreams of a geographical solution to his marital problems - They will return to his wife's native land and live off it. She will be fulfilled. They will be happy. 4:50 AM SCENE VI (A cabin in Wyoming) The experiment fails. Through the trials and tribulations of self-reliance the couple polarise. She falls in love with a "friend from the East". They part. 4:56 AM SCENE VII (The edge of a highway - somewhere in the States) The man is now alone. He is the hitch-hiker. A truck pulls up. "Hey kid, you looking for a lift?... Get on up here." He climbs in and whines to the truck driver. The truck driver, happy to join in the battle of the sexes, commiserates for a while. Then, realising that our hero is about to vomit all over his highly polished cowboy boots, he throws him out of the rig. 5:01 AM SCENE VIII (The Gutter) Things go from bad to worse. 5:06 AM SCENE IX (A truckstop) A waitress with a heart of gold sympathizes with our hero reaffirming his basic belief in life and love. He wakes. 5:10 AM SCENE X (Back in Suburbia) As he awakes our hero experiences a moment of clarity. He feels at one with the world. He has the answer? <- N.B. the question mark is Rog's, not mine 5:11 AM SCENE XI (The bedroom - One minute later.) The moment fades. The man is afraid. He reaches out and touches his wife's hair. She is awake. He loves her..."

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