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O, ONCE THERE WAS A WICKED, WICKED MAN: 1994 VERSION Author unknown O, once there was a wicked wicked girl, Her name was Tonya Harding She thought she'd knock her rival out Her troubles were just starting Tonya, hitting her was not too nice; Should have thought it over once or twice, Now you're really skating on thin ice, But have a happy Purim O, once there was a wicked wicked boy, that Jackson, first name Michael. It seems his growth got stunted near the start of his life cycle. Michael, you've become a Peter Pan, Michael, do teshuva while you can, Life is not a never never land, And have a happy Purim O, once there was a wicked, wicked woman, Her name was Mrs. Bobbitt. I know you've heard the puns before, So I promise I will stop it. O, Lorena, John was not a prize, Marrying him just wasn't very wise, When he woke up--what a big surprise, Just have a happy Purim. O, once there was a wicked wicked man, Khalid Abdul Mohammed He said a lot of not nice things, The ADL, they saw red. Jesse couldn't make him go away, First Amendment let him have his say, He's our Haman for today, But have a happy Purim. O, once there was a wicked wicked winter, it happens to be this one. Ice and snow and cold and sleet, You really get to miss sun. Have we had as much as we can bear? Tell the truth--does anybody care? Drink a toast to dysfunction everywhere, And have a happy Purim.

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