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SNL Lyrics ========== This is a transcription of various Saturday Night Live songs. It is submitted in Digest format so that it can be "burst" into separate messages for each song. The date on each message (except for "Images") is the date the song was originally performed on air. Song lyrics included: Images Turkey Song Red Hooded Sweatshirt Mother's Day Song Santa Song ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sat, 24 Jan 1981 00:00:00 GMT From: Doug Krause Subject: Images Images by Tyrone Greene (performed by Eddie Murphy) Dark and lonely on a summer's night Kill my landlord Kill my landlord Watchdog barking Do he bite? Kill my landlord Kill my landlord Slip in his window Break his neck Then his house I start to wreck Got no reason What the heck Kill my Landlord Kill my landlord C-I-L-L my l a n d l o r d ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 23 Nov 1991 00:00:00 GMT From: Doug Krause Subject: Turkey Song Turkey Song by Adam Sandler performed on 1991.11.23 [spoken] "Yes, I am, Kevin. I've worked all week on my song, and I hope you'll be entertained and a little moved." [singing] Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey cause it's good Love to eat turkey like a good boy should Cause it's turkey to eat, So good A turkey for me, turkey for you, Let's eat turkey in a big brown shoe. Love to eat turkey at the table, I once saw a movie with Betty Grable. Eat that turkey all night long, 50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong. Turkey turkey dee, turkey turkey dap, I eat the turkey and I take a nap [melody changes] Thanksgiving is a special night Jimmie Walker used to say "Dynomite" That's right! [melody changes back] Turkey with the gravy and the cranberry Can't believe the Mets traded Darryl Strawberry Turkey for you, turkey for me, Can't believe Tyson gave the girl V.D. Gobble gobble dee, gobble gobble dawkie, I used to go to camp at Lake Winnepesaukee [spoken] Adam: "Come on, Kevin." Kevin: "No, that's okay." Adam: "Oh, it'll be funnn." Kevin: "Okay." [Kevin and Adam singing in (somewhat) unison] Turkey turkey dee, turkey turkey duffin, Love to eat turkey with a lot of stuffin' Turkey for me, turkey for you, Let's eat turkey in a big brown shoe. Turkey and sweet potato pie, Sammy Davis Jr. only had one eye Turkey with the girls, turkey with the boys, My favorite kind of pants are corduoroys Gobble gobble gee, gobble gobble gickle I wish turkeys only cost a nickel. [song slows] Oh, I love turkey .. on Thanksgivingggggg [spoken] Adam: "Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!" (transcribed by Anthony Bonillo ) (corrections by Christian L Claiborn ) ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 13 Feb 1993 00:00:00 GMT From: Doug Krause Subject: Red Hooded Sweatshirt Red Hooded Sweatshirt by Adam Sandler performed on 1993.02.13 My mom bought you when I was just 13, the brightest red sweatshirt I ever seen. She got an extra large so I wouldn't grow out, "That's too big for you!" the other kids would shout. But we stuck together, we didn't quit, and now the children say, "What a perfect fit." I love you sweeeeatshirt red hooded sweeeeatshirt dip dip dip sweeeeatshirt shama lama ding dong sweeeeatshirt. I like to rest my hands in your kangaroo pouch, it makes them feel comfy like a big soft couch. And I don't care if the weather's no good, I say "See you later rain" as I pull up my hood. Remember that long bus trip when I needed a nap?, I used you as a pillow on that Spanish lady's lap. I love you sweeeeatshirt red hooded sweeeeatshirt dip dip dip sweeeeatshirt shama lama ding dong sweeeeatshirt. Oh what is it about you that makes me so jolly?, Is it your fifty cotton or your fifty poly? I don't knoooooooww ohh ohh hoo hoo hoo. Oh red hooded sweatshirt we been through a lot together like that time I played in that shirts and skins basketball game and I had to take you off and throw you in the corner of the gym. I was midway through the game and then I saw you looking at me. You were staring as if to say "Adam, you suck at basketball, you dribble like a damn woman." I was so mad I challenged you to a game of one on one and you know sweatshirt, even though I beat you 11 to 9, deep in my soul I know you missed those lay-ups on purpose. You let me win and that why (Kevin, please help me out) I love you sweeeeatshirt red hooded sweeeeatshirt dip dip dip sweeeeatshirt shama lama ding dong sweeeeatshirt. Come on audience members, help me out here. I love you sweeeeatshirt red hooded sweeeeatshirt dip dip dip sweeeeatshirt shama lama ling dong sweeeeatshirt. I love you sooooooooooo. Happy Valentine's Everybody! (transcribed by Doug Krause ) ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 08 May 1993 00:00:00 GMT From: Doug Krause Subject: Mother's Day Song Mother's Day Song by Adam Sandler performed 1993.05.08 Mama was the one who reached down and tied my shoelace. Mama spit on her fingers and used it to clean dirt off my face. Brush your teeth, Q-tip your ear, take off your sister's new brassiere. Watch PBS, not Deputy Dawg, don't you eat that Lincoln Log. Oh mama I still don't believe it's true: The tooth fairy was you. No Way! I love you maaaaaama, more than than paaaastrama, way more than Jeffrey Daaaahma, even more than my NFL paaaaajamas. Mama always calmed down dad when he got too mean. Like the time he almost hit me for stealing his Juggs magazine. Stop your jumping, you'll break the bed. Don't you fill up on the bread. Take those Take those (trying to read cue card) Take ... carrots out of your nose, that's not a hat that's pantyhose. Don't play baseball in your suit, that Magnum PI's very cute. Don't forget Vick's Vapor-rub, stop masturbating in the tub. Thanks for making corn beef hash, and putting powder on my rash. (So much better.) I love you maaaaaama, more than golf with Arnold Paaaaalmaaaa, more than yellow moons in Lucky Chaaaaamaaaas, Def Leppard's drummer only had one aaaaaaamaaa. Oh, Mrs. Nealon, yes it's true, Kevin's gonna sing to you. Come on Kevin. I love you maaaaaama (kevin) Come on, keep goin'. More than films by Brian DePaaaaalmaaaa. (kevin) Thanks for being my date to the praaaaamaaaa. Thanks for writing that note to the draft board that said I was gay so I got out of Vietnaaaamaaa. (kevin) Mom your way better than the World Trade Center baaaaamaaaa. Who's name by the way is Mohamed Salaaaamaaa. (kevin) I love you even more than Richard Gere loves the Dali Laaaaahmaaa. And Richard Gere was also good in "Sommersby", which was a melodraaaamaa. (kevin) Oh, all you moms out there oughta know, we kids love you so. Have a Happy Mother's Day. Thank you very much! Thank you! Adam Saaaandlaaa. (kevin) (transcribed by Doug Krause ) ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 11 Dec 1993 00:00:00 GMT From: Doug Krause Subject: Santa Song Santa Song by Adam Sandler performed on 1993.12.11 So many presents, so little time, Santa won't be coming around my house this year, 'cos I tried to drown my sister and I pierced my ear, Oh mama made it perfectly clear, Santa don't like bad boys...especially Jewish ones. Gnip-gnop and lego blocks are all that I desire, so why did I have to set the pizza guy's hair on fire, I told him I was sorry, I'm a liar, so no toys for me...I don't deserve them. I couldn't wait for a big wheel as the holiday neared, but then I told my grandma that she had a beard. Dear Santa, I know what my problem is, why I can't be good, it's a fear of intimacy. You see my whole life whenever I've met someone really great like you and I keep feeling like I'm getting close to them, something inside me makes me want to screw it up. So in a weird way the reason I'm so bad is because I love you santa. Rock-em Sock-em Robots is what I was hoping for, but then I made a death threat to vice president Gore, oh santa won't be knocking on my door, 'cos he's a big fat whore...what made me say that? Chutes and ladders would be so good indeed, so why'd I have to sell that cop a bag of weed, so Santa please give me that easy bake oven, I swear I thought billy goats we're made for lovin'. So Santa won't you accept my apologies, Santa can't you see I'm begging you please, oh Santa next year I'll do you right, Live from New York it's Saturday night... (transribed by Neil Mackie ) (corrections by John J Cassidy ) ------------------------------ End of SNL Lyrics Digest ************************ This file was compiled from InterNet and distributed exclusively in this form on BBSes through The E.M.Z. BBS (510) 886-3567 Hayward, CA 2400 - 14.4K baud, 8,N,1 X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven & the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845 Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766 realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662 Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699 The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674 Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560 "Raw Data for Raw Nerves" X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X

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