By: J.J. Hitt
To: Joanna Amren

 When Jesus takes a healthy shit
  Do odors foul the air?
 The kind that you and I expel,
  That rot our underwear?
 Or does it hint of frankincense
  And other fragrance rare?
 I wonder.

 When Jesus takes a healthy shit
  Do rectal muscles strain?
 To pass a turd of Titan size,
  Do hemmorrhoids cause him pain?
 Has constipation ever turned 
  His bowels to links of chain?
 I wonder.

 When Jesus drops his holy robes
  And nestles down his butt,
 Does Jesus scan graffitied walls
  And leer at shithouse smut?
 Are Jesus' feces tapered so
  His asshole wont slam shut?
 I wonder.

 Does diarrhea ever strike?
  Do tacos give Him gas?
 Do zits adorn his leeward side
  And mar His Sacred Ass?
 Does He cringe when loaves and fishes
  take a miracle to pass?
 I wonder.
 
 When Jesus takes a healthy shit
  Do angels on high praise
 Our Blessed Lord upon the throne
  For donning human ways?
 Or do they gag and flap their wings
  To clear away the haze?
 I wonder.

 When Jesus - oh, so beautiful -
  Must harken to the call
 That nature makes to each of us,
  The mighty and the small;
 I wish I were the toilet seat
  Behind that hallowed Staal -
 Or do I?