24 Nov 2000
Lil' Dave
Author Unknown, to the tune of 'Big John, Big Bad John'
Every morning at the org you could see him arrive
He stood five foot two and weighed 135
Kinda narrow at the shoulder and broad at the hip:
An ashmatic dwarf on a mean power trip - lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Nobody seemed to know where Dave hid out
He just put everyone in condition of doubt
He screamed and yelled and had a fit
And everybody learned that you didn't say shit to Lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Somebody said he came from Hemet Base
Where he schemed his way into second place
And a aging butt full of Vistaril
Made damn sure he'd be the king of the hill
Lil' Dave
Then came the day at the deposition
When lawyers fainted and the staff went fishin
And Rinder shook and Heber quaked
And everyone was fightened about the will they'd faked, 'cept Dave
Through the torts and the suits of this legal hell
Walked a midget of a man that the Judge knew well
Grabbed a briefcase in his hand and made for the door
And trotted cross the lawn toward the copter's roar, Go Dave.
Lil' Dave
With all of his strength he closed the bunker door
Dropping the bearer bonds all over the floor
And twenty staff pounded on the blast-proof steel
"Let us in, let us in." they began to squeal, to Dave.
When the police rolled up they started to hide
Scattering and running from side to side
Then smoke and gas rolled outta the vault
As mother earth twisted that local fault - and Dave.
Well they never reopened that worthless hole
And the EPA won't touch it with a ten-foot pole
But a warning sign stands there to this day:
Toxic waste below - Danger - stay away-
Lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Short squat Dave
Lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Short squat Dave
Lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Short squat Dave
Lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Short squat Dave
Lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Short squat Dave
Lil' Dave
From Dave
Lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Lil' Dave
Short squat Dave
Lil' Dave