Magoo, 8 Months Out of Scintology cult
08 Apr 2001
Magoo: 8 months out
In July of last year, 8 months ago, I stepped out of Scientology with the help of a few key friends. Andreas from http://www.xenu.net , Bob Minton, Stacy Brooks, and Jessie Prince of http://www.lisatrust.net were each totally key in my getting out safely and in tact. My story is at http://www.xenu.net/ archive/personal story/Tory. Also the entire OSA story I am posting can be found at http://www.lermanet.com under OSA spam.
But I just wanted to tell you how I am now 8 months later. When I left there was a great deal of fear, no question about it. Actually probably up until a few months ago, I really wasn't sure I could make it through all the sorrow of losing all of my old friends, of 30 years. I was fine on "losing" Scientology as it had been breaking apart, piece by piece since 1990 when I got onto their second to the highest level, OT 7 and realized "that's IT???"
But I have posted about that in detail. About how I am doing, is where I began. Basically I am feeling great~ I have walked through the Wall of losing all of one's Friends….and as Andreas pointed out to me in confidence once I hit the wall in the Truman show, "What kind of friends could those be, if they will leave you because you changed your mind?" Nothing has stuck in my mind throughout this entire 8 months as much as that. What IS that about?
Scientologists are SO heavily mind controlled that they cannot even see that as something odd. That is just a fact, "and you knew the rules Tory", someone just told me the other night. I ran into a friend at a Subway, and she proceeded to pass on all the OSA lines oh so cleverly spread. She swore to me she hadn't talked to anyone from OSA. However, everything she said was OSA lines. Interesting how subtle they can be. She had NO clue they had gotten to her, and she left insisting they had not. OF course not, if they had, she might have to look at how that is?
Pre leaving I had numerous acquaintances, and a handful of what I thought were my friends. I always felt I was under a microscope as most Scientologists are always evaluating about others, and this would introvert me. "Oh She is really 1.1" Really? I thought the person seemed really nice! What is wrong with me? (and to you OSA ops, yes, I did worry about being 1.1…and you can laugh and say 'see she is!' The only one difference is I know the truth, and you won't even look~ What tone level is that???) Every flue season I would go through this. Whomever has the flue is immediately labeled "PTS" of course except if they have it. But undoubtedly I would get it, and feel like such a "downstat" because I had the flue. Not to mind that much of the rest of the town did too. It was still a yearly hassle for me. I had a few friends who I honestly felf were cool, and I am still shocked to this day that they turned on me so. But life rolls on.
Since I have left, I can honestly say that I have not had ONE DAY of this same kind of weird worry about Tory. I just live my life, and my friends talk with me. Even some on the Internet who have been against me are easier and more joyous to talk to than most Scientologists. AT LEAST THEY WILL SAY HOW THE REALLY FEEL!!! When you have lived for 30 YEARS as I have, feeling like I am an outsider looking in, I cannot find the words to tell you the happiness I have found from leaving this mind control Cult.
Always in Scientology I felt like I was never doing enough. That is part of the control." You just aren't being responsible enough". But then when DM announces we OT 7's (who had been corrected to death over and over for 7 years) were "only using 3 of the 59 tools". Did THEY take responsibility for that? Hell no. Pay up, of shut up. Interesting how that works. They can screw up over and over, and still say you have to pay up.
That was what the Golden Age of Tech was all about. Somehow ALL of the auditors trained for 30 some years had been trained wrong, or incompletely? So now they not only needed to re-do it ALL (which takes years), but also pay for it! If that is responsibility, we need to talk. However their PR line is "We are helping you by putting together ALL of this new tech that you need". It sounds good, until you sit down and think about it. Now wait a minute? Didn't I pay for every single step of what was promoted as 100% standard tech? Now you say it wasn't and I am supposed to not only spend my time re-doing it, but pay for it over again? This is unbelievable that anyone at all would fall for this!
But that isn't my problem any more. I have worried and worked hard for most of my adult life to "get free". You can look at YEARS of my plans, and each one is to "help other people get OT, or Help Clear the planet". My friend recently said "You should figure out a life plan". I said I hated those, as I had done zillions of "Admin Scales" and none ever worked, She pointed out, "but I bet each began with "helping Clear the planet" right? We both had a good long laugh. So my life is all new, and daily I find more wonderful things.
When I left, I still felt no one should say the word xenu. Now I post it on almost every one of my posts. When I left I only thought DM was ruining Scientology. Now I am learning there is way more to learn about what actually is going down in Scientology. A great book to read is called, "Captive Hearts, Captive Minds". When I left, I still thought we could all sit down and work things out. Now, after spending 9 days with OSA trying (and failing) to pin a Criminal conviction on me, I know differently.When I left I was terrified about the top secrets I knew about OSA.Now I have posted almost all of them for the world to read.
More special things have happened to me, and sometime in the future I will tell you more. But for now, that is about it. I am happy and very thankful to each and every friend who has helped me find my new life. To Andreas, Bob Minton, Stacy, and Jessie Prince, I want to thank each of you publicly again for your constant help and care for me. I wouldn't have made it without each of you, and you will forever hold a joyous spot in my heart.
To the Barnes, Alan W, Heather, Arnie, Theresa, Jeff, and Ida (and my old friend, Paul of NY), Ed, and Patricia…thank each of you for your compassion and communications via the phone and offering a hand when needed. Man! You have NO idea how much it has helped.
Legally I would like to thank the amazing John Merritt, Dan Leipold, Grahame Berry and Bruce for their helping hands, brilliant minds, and courage to take on this evil cult named Scientology. There are no doubt more attorneys, but these are ones who have directly helped me in one way or the other.
In LA, there are some very special people who have helped me, and you know who you are, and I know you don't want me to mention your names. But I cannot say thank you enough also for each of your kind help!
I can tell you without a doubt ALL of the people who have helped me have truly helped give me a new life. Each of you knows who you are.
The kindness I have experienced from people around the world has given me a new hope for all mankind. There are SO many good people out there who care and are willing to fight for what they believe in, it amazes me. Some have for sure given me more than others, but every single person has been of great help and joy to me. I would name people, but I am afraid I will leave some out, and I am sure each of you knows who you are.
So there ya have a brief summary of Magoo, 8 months later.
If anyone is thinking of leaving and feels like they need someone to talk to, or they just want to talk with me, please do. I am easily reachable at: Please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Bless all of you
Tory/Magoo -- dancing in the moonlight
In for 30 years
Out for 8 months
Free at last
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